Smriti Irani: empty vessels rattle much….more

Deadlock,revulsion,incompetence,snobbery,arrogance,cryptic-these adjectives summarize how my Human Resource Development Minister has performed in the last one year.When the party with a “difference” talked about a rejuvinated,rebuilt India,we bought their arguments,we bought their views,we bought their oratory,and above all we cultured around Narendra Modi,who was a “chaiwala” challenging the quid-pro-quo and stereo-types plaguing the system for long. The charismatic Tulsi of “Kyunki……” fame presented herself as articulated,humble yet a challenger hard to suppress. Yes,she was the woman who excreted vile on the Vikaas Purush after Godhra,yet she cloaked no apprehensions about admitting her “mistake”. Her great affinity to the Gujarat CM gave her a Rajya Sabha seat. It gave her greater marketing as being Modi’s right hand woman.

Smriti Irani took upon herself as the sole challenger to Sushma Swaraj as the lead female in Modi’s cabinet. What came forward? A typical DNA of enfante horribilis.Both today may slip out of their respected jobs-one for breaching the lakshman-rekha of ethical wisdom,other for allegedly not even being standardized to view the Lakhshman-rekha. Education ministry in the last one year has shown many instances of immaturity and diverse prospects of being cowed down by elements of Nagpur. As the PM was busy giving what now seems to be idealistic, hollow,superficial oratory,the position of Smriti is said to have become untenable. The country definitely deserves a better educational advisor than the short sighted, myopic individual called Dinanath Batra. Incidentally as he preaches on his bigoted history lessons based on hard Hindutva,a modern lady with a past of being a finalist of the leading beauty pageant seems to absorb them with ease and cheese.

As  you saw Smriti Irani cavalcading the BJP attack on the Newshour, you felt the fire that this woman possesses in her belly. You could loath on her sharpness of mind,on the intensity of her political will.Still,she seems to garner utter disappointment. The woman who had the courage to speak up against zealotised Sanjay Nirupam,did not utter a word as Giriraj Singh sang his usual obsolete,nonsense and in particular racist rant against Sonia Gandhi. See the history of see-saws. This same woman stood in the Parliament against Sharad Yadav when he lambasted his innocuous knowledge on busty South Indian woman. No body stood to support her on the floor. When later asked about this indifference of her own Party members in the Parliament,Smriti dodged it off. ‘I am not a Political Cinderella’-she said

If my memory serves me right, in KBC 2nd Season Smriti Irani came with Sakshi Tanwar to play the Amitabh hosted show. There she spoke of how an astrologer through his panditgiri had earlier invalidated her dreams of becoming an actress. Almost a decade later, Smriti Irani went to see an astrologer who to believe the tabloish tone, had predicted one day the HRD Minister will become the head of the state of India-to put it more simply she would be the President of the country. Introducing Sanskrit in place of German seemed to serve little purpose as entire education structure stared at hypermetric funeral. The saffron bumchums for the time being had to retreat. The ego and blatant robbery of humbleness seemed another problem as Smriti went after the secretaries of her department. A senior official in the Government says”Smriti madam,does not allow the officials to settle down. She lectures the secretaries on what they should do and what they should restrain themselves from. She does not like being asked or interrogated”.Smriti Irani reportedly has changed half a dozen bureaucrats from her department.

Coming to lecture part. Even today after being in the political dispensation for 12 years,it seems uncertain which was the institution Smriti can adjudge the title of alma mater to?

“She studied up to class 12 at Holy Child Auxilium School and discontinued further education.[7][8] Irani has herself provided conflicting affidavits of her educational qualifications. In 2004, she submitted that she had obtained a graduate degree in Arts (B.A, 1996) from Delhi University (School of Correspondence); and in 2014, she submitted that she had completed a part of a graduate degree in Commerce (Part I B.Com, 1994) from Delhi University.[9] Furthermore, a leak from the School of Correspondence, as reported by a newspaper, claims that Irani had enrolled in 2013, but had not written her examination”-this is what Wikipedia says about her educational qualification which seems to crucify the Modi Government lately.

B.A and B.Com don’t really share a honeymoon. A commerce and an Arts Graduate may add well to the documentation of Curriculum Vitae, but twin-in one production is limited till now to ice creams only. School of correspondence also seems to gel rather uneasily with Smriti’s aura. Smriti Irani volatilised the situation to the hilt,when she lambasted about having a degree from Yale University. To believe my eternal vigilance,it was basically a crash course which not only Irani but a host of other MP’s went through in 2013. The leadership programme lasted for 6 days where Irani’s counterpart was TDP’s S Ramesh. Democracy and nuclear non-proliferation were reportedly the topics exercised.How happy would have been my mother had she known a degree is nowadays available from Yale in 6 days!Infact 11 politicians from national and regional political parties participated in the crash course.

Now a Delhi court has found merit in the entire mango pickle surrounding the minister. A case filed by Ahmer Khan,a freelance writer and represented by lawyer KK Manan were successful in patronising the first big setback for the Minister. The otherwise intrinsically frank Smriti, got carried away while being asked about her qualification. Madhu Kishwar,another controversial Modi enthusiast had difficulty in accepting Smriti Irani’s appointment.Well life is not always a Uday chopra film-sometimes applying logic is an obligation more than a necessity.

Author’s crisp thought-Smriti ji try something constructive,rather than only competing in Amethi with the Gandhi scion……..


Propriety,Politicians and Presstitutes-part I

Propriety is better preached than practised. And it has never been an unholy sport played by a single political player. Over and over again,such a stance has been displayed-many a times with utmost disgrace by the netas of this country. The matter of accommodation of a number of instances of nepotism has always been a pre established fact. Those, who today sign up for facebook and hope to change the country must remember that such a rot has always been there-most of the times not embodied by any sense of moral justification.

At a point of time,when P.H.D degrees can be won over at 2 lakh bucks without submitting a single thesis,the mask of social justice seems to be embroidered with immorality and disgust. Ottavio Quattrocchi, who was one of the most infamous and iconic characters of the mid 80’s disempowered the slide mandate behind Rajiv’s victory. The concocted view of impropriety that the opposition including the 2 MP backed Bharatiya Janata Party thundered seems today nothing but a matter of mere story telling.

The matter of morality has always in some way or the other exposed itself to be a relative term of sorts. The Kashmir issue for Musharraf is based on morality, while the same pendulum seems to sing a different tune in the case of Gilgit-Baltistan.But,somehow the case of propriety seemed to have been a major USP,that the Modi Government had set out to champion. The Modi speech at Shanghai calling for a #scamfreeIndia stands today critically challenged in front of an armoured opposition.

Author's crisp thought:Hope the Foreign minister is not threatening to slap arnab Goswami!
Author’s crisp thought:Hope the Foreign minister is not threatening to slap Arnab Goswami!

Sushma Swaraj has been a major disappointment for a party which failed to take her into confidence initially when Modi was being elevated. I heard Rajdeep sardesai,on the shapath day on the 26th in the month of May last year getting somewhat enamoured and slightly surprised at the fact that Sushma was being engaged into the PM’s confidant-ship. Swaraj who promised to shave her hair,lest Sonia became PM could have thought little that her image in 2015 will prove to be a slander towards her nationalistic credentials.

Swaraj, who is known for her unrelenting oratorical machismo,had stood for morality during the December rape of 2012. However, now when she is the subject of cacophony and immorality,her preceding stance seems to haunt her. The sati-savitri stereo-typed image which till today emboldened her stature in a ultra dominant male world till a few days back was admirable. Alas! no more it seems.

Sushma’s daughter Bansuri and husband Swaraj Kaushal have been legal counsels to a fugitive called Lalit Modi. The man who fortunately for idolent people like me made cricket more of an entertainment was always under the scanner for his not so clean vests. But what is all the more intriguing a fact is the PR rifles that the not so fair both personally and facially Modi has. While, Rajdeep Sardesai was getting wined and dined-to quote the acid tongued Arnab Goswami , it was surprising for me how Lalit to believe Rajdeep had made friends with politicians in Cuba.

author's crisp thought: Nicotine does ease tension!
author’s crisp thought: Nicotine does ease tension!

The lack of judgement being exercised by the External Affairs Minister by partially bailing out Lalit on the grounds of humanity has fewer buyers after repeated exposes. Sushma infact panicked after the Times Now broke the story at 9:07 a.m on the 14th of the month. The Portuguese research centre whose quality of treatment allows a patient to party post two days of operation was a must have for the ex IPL Czar. And Sushma whose family connections bisected that of Modi’s could not forbid the appeal of Modi.

The Bigger Question-Did the Prime Minister know??? A man who has always showcased himself to be someone with absolute control over the Government can’t afford to say that he was negligent of the fact while he toured the foreign countries taking upon himself the role of Sushma, A man, who was so intricately absolved in the articulating external affairs was indifferent to the matter of quid-pro-quo carried by one of his own top 4 ministers? Sushma was only a few days back being honoured as one of the most successful ministers. So the review system must have faulted somewhere.

Kirti Azad tweets...
Author’s crisp thought:Sabotage angle? Swapan Dasgupta don’t get offended!

When the tweet of Kirti Azad mentioning the hashtag #asteenkasaanp appeared it did provide a compelling story into the divided family of the BJP. The role of Indian surrogate Keeth Vaz has also sqandered troubling questions. Propriety,it seems is something the BJP can now sacrifice with ease. Troubles it seems awaits the already infected malady….

Mamata-an enigma

The intellectual class has forbidden her English vocabulary.Her Santhali face disqualifies her from becoming Reita Faria or Sushmita Sen. Her saree is 1/10th the price of Maria Sharapova’s lingering short skirts. Yet,her popularity seems to surpass the self sensuous video of Shilpa Shukla in the film B.A Pass. The elitist Bengalis have rarely or rather never allowed a semi anglo-articulative mass politician as its Chief Minister. If the English medium grapevines like me ever gets to know Didi’s superfluous English skills,they will burst into laughter.No doubt, her memes and comic videos on Youtube give a serious competition to the father of a dozen in Bihar.

the ageless,quintessential fighter
 Author’s crisp thought:Confess,as I must-I have never been an admirer or fan of the present Chief Minister. Many a times I have somehow endured the anger I have on her for being grossly intolerant to criticism.

The eyes of a human being portrays one’s inner self. Perhaps,it also justifies the cocoon he or she is trying to camouflage. But,when you see her on television or as she marches past with F1 speed repeatedly talking to a score in the mince of a second,those eyes portray the emotion,the anger and the vigilance with which the indolent Bengali seldom identifies. Confess,as I must-I have never been an admirer or fan of the present Chief Minister. Many a times I have somehow endured the anger I have on her for being grossly intolerant to criticism.

Her dictum on whether to watch ABP or 24 Ghanta betrays the modicum of minimum intelligence.Still,I seem to fall for this woman.Before you think of diving into the romantic vodka,let me reaffirm the spectrum is not a platonic one. Politicians as I have said in my earlier blogs make lesser sense than Rakhi Sawant at times. So to crucify Mamata also suggests that we should not allow our N.R.I Prime Minister to scot free. The hashtag of #Despitebeingawoman is just a showcase template of why and how.

Author's crisp thought:
Author’s crisp thought: Hopefully if you log onto google images you will get some more to laugh at!

The ever ecstatic image of hawai chappals clad Mamata walking from Raj Bhawan to Writers will for the time being not fade from the public memory though the latter has a reputation to suffer from short time memory loss. The defeat of Somnath Chatterjee in the 1984 wave elections from Jadavpur may only be accorded to the Indira death. But seldom has a death given birth to an enigma,a phenomenon and a quintessential controversy addict.

The power of the media according to me is a bit or rather greatly exaggerated. To quote Vinod Mehta,the self proclaimed pseudo secular may be apt. On the 10th anniversary of the weekly magazine Outlook, Mehta propsed”Why do the politicians fear us so much? We are only a bunch of boys and gals……”  The Ananda Bazaar Patrika and it confectioneries seem to take the responsibility upon themselves to unseat a four year old Chief Minister.Should I say they failed? No. Should I say they succumbed? Yes of course and very badly did they perish in constructing their propaganda.

Author's crisp thought: the hey days of Mamata's  physique.One thing you must notice -both Anushka Sharma and Didi seems to grow some extra flesh in their chin.....
Author’s crisp thought: the hey days of Mamata’s physique.One thing you must notice -both Anushka Sharma and Didi seems to grow some extra flesh in their chin…..

The ultimate view of political ultimatums still portrays the Bong CM as a cosmopolitan. Someone,who can ask for money from the Union on the account of diminishing coffers.Someone,who can then award SRK and Co. gold chains for their emphatic sea voyage to Greenland and the Antarctic. Someone,who likes to bring commercial superstars to a traditional “art” house cinema driven KIFF(the film festival). Someone who exposes her wisdom on Tagore and Nazrul and then can sharply imply on her ability to control goons.goons. Thats Mamata,though controversial,yet eternal…….

the hue and the cry………365 days(the Beginning)

The expectations of the people climbed up the ladder post the 2014 elections.The long drawn battle between a stereo typed Congress and a jubilant BJP had sealed the fate of the elections long back. Rajdeep Sardesai,the then Editor-in-Chief of the IBN Network had commenced the Election Tracker as early as July,2013 itself.Though it gave a slight edge of the NDA over the UPA,the rise of a third front seemed imminent.But the equations saw a rapid change as the chant for Modi was looming large on the BJP National Executive.

Troubled letters from the patriarch Advani and discontent shown by miniature coterie of yesteryear stalwarts and PM aspirants failed to stop the juggernaut that had already started rolling.The rest as they say is history. The empowerment of Modi as the chief of the election campaign and later in September as the Presidential candidate in a Parliamentary election brought out the best of the energy of the Gujarat CM with the riots being completely overshadowed by the charisma and enigma surrounding his oratory and punchlines hard to forget.

But that was the rhetoric of the elections.Now after spending 365 days under the rule of what Diggy Singh and Journo Kumar Ketkar(a habituated Modi Basher) call a N.R.I PM,one over the wallet can profess satisfaction to a great level.There is a certain perception that something at least is being done to empower and publicize the brand of India.Well India Shining was a similar brand built on the impulses of an young,aspirant India. Pramod Mahajan,at that point of time was the second in command to Vajpayee in many ways.

Nitish Kumar in an interview said

“The only time I was overconfident in winning elections was in 2004.Pramod Mahajan took me to a room.There was the technically superior components handling the elections of a globalised India.”

But history proved otherwise. The NDA faced a shock defeat with Vajpayee putting the blame squarely on Modi for the loss.So hype and PR exercises can also be detrimental for a public figure.This is something that Modi should be vigilant about in the future.The great number of MOUs being signed with foreign countries to me is a positive change.At last the people of this country feel,that they don’t have a lame duck government.But hysteria and hype many a times are shortlived.The astounding victory and the shock defeat of Indira Gandhi in 1972 and 1977 prove that.Hope the Prime Minister excludes such tendency,in case they prop up…..

VK Singh_the drop out of The Modistitute

Well how many times do you watch a barking dog keeping mute? Must be very few,isn’t it? Something similar is happening with a retired army chief whose demanour exceeds the mindset of a rotten egg. His name is General VK Singh-the former Minister Of State (independent charge) for the development of North East in the contemporary Union Government.Currently it seems he is less happy with only one department-that of a subordinate position to a ‘female’ minister in the department of External Affairs.

Perhaps this has forced him to make a mysogynistic,sexist remark about journalism and Arnab Goswami-the larger than life figure of Times Now‘s Super Primetime.But hold on.He is not in the “brothel” of controversies for the first time. He like the Uber Cab driver is a repeated offender. Well Mr. Modi in any case lacks the courage to speak on the important issues of the day. He is happy recovering the relics of mythology as pieces of scientific clarity. So he is going to keep quiet even this time.

The CBI must enquire the cook of 7,Race Course Road about why all residents of the palace give a mutish look as they occupy the highest post of importance. Swapan Dasgupta, a noted columnist today repented that the great work of Yemen evacuation under the General is not being applauded and shown in the media.Well of course he and his troops are not doing any favour for the country and its people.

But who actually are PRESSTITUTES? The word press means to exert pressure in a particular region.If the action occurs in any part of the body, then its directly related to carnal pleasures. As far as I know the MOS is married.So……..Whatever! 

There is another rather more simplified version. It says that the Indian Press or Media has been called a callgirl! At least Mr. Singh knows the object very well! Good to see the General’s pefrformance in the field of extra-curricular activities.

But after all how can being in Yemen be less exciting?There must be better looking girls at the site of evacuation than on the occasion of Pakistan Day Celebrations. Well honestly, I was not in either occassion present. So better practise verbal restraint.

But were media presstitutes when VK Singh gave wide interviews discussing in which year specifically his mother gave him birth-1950 or 1951? Well Wikipedia says 1951.So lets show modus vivendi to a website much more reliable than Naughty America.When he categorically expressed his displeasure at the elevation of General Suhag as the Army Chief, was the fraternity of journalism a symbol of presstitution?

When he alleged bureaucrats were against him, while he was an army chief for what reason did he vomit too much in front of what he calls presstitutes? He also wrote a letter to Manmohan Singh,the former PM asking for modrnization of ammunitions. Well the presstitutes gave coverage to his say.He also ridiculed Shekhar Gupta and branded him as a nutshell in an interview to Arnab.

General Shankar Prasad once said “just like history never pardoned Winston Churchill,just like that history won’t give respite to VK Singh.” Well, the man has surely made it to the league of Diggy and Ram  Jethmalani. The drop out from one ministry may also lead to the other-from the institute of Modistitute(no offences meant). I mean the institute or cabinet of Narendrabhai.

Till then stay calm and enjoy kam with p…..istitutes!

“BAN”d baaja……….

Hopeless as it may seem,but surely the antiques of the Sangh Parivar is running high.With least respect to minimum democracy we are fast becoming a country of control(except sexual misbehaviour!) or more specifically a Communist State.A dynamic Brahmin(no segregationist thought please!) took the position at the helm of affairs of one of the most urbanized states of the land.But the approach of Devendra Fadnavis is far from being what to expect from a CM in his 40’s. Nagpur is not only known to be the auxillary capital of Maharashtra where the winter session of the State Assembly fructifies,it is also known to be the belly of the RSS.Not mentioning the delicious food of the city which is incidentally behind the growth of fatty acids in Nitin Gadkari’s body! Hence we can all feel from where did the pressure come from! Well conspirators also suggest a strict BJPian gameplan behind the entire crescendo.Asaduddin Owaisi and his MIM have directly emerged as the protector of Muslim interests in Maharashtra. Its a different matter that however hard Owaisi senior may flaunt himself to be secular,as long as Akbaruddin is there he better may be ready to share the same goal post with Yogi Adityanath on the symbol of narrow-mindedness of thought.There can be a serious blow to the Muslim votebank of Congress-NCP and the MIM can become the custodian of Islamic interests.This can result in a massive minority vote split making it easier for the BJP and the Shiv Sena to consolidate on their essentially Hindu votebank.Though, the cause and effect is a bit more complex than Mahua Moitra’s “middle finger” as they say politics is the art of the possible.Economically today Sudhanshu Trivedi of the BJP (who also happens to be an advisor of a more “moderate” Rajnath Singh) categorically said on the Newshour that the future courses in agriculture like organic farming shall require cows. 

Well well well! He definitely forgot to mention about cow’s urine which according to one of the saffron ideologues cures cancer! And the CM fully contradicted what the AG of the State Government said 2 days back. Must congratulate the AG for his kind luck.Fortunately he was not part of the HRD ministry of the Union Government! “Tulsi” may well have been ordered for his last rights! 

The ban on beef is not an idea of substance-even I cannot play cheap humor there. Economically beef export is one of the principal items of significance on the Indian charter. And in any case why and how should the state decide what to eat and what not to eat.Tomorrow shall the power coterie determine the time of my orgasm? One argument is being put out as a strong defence for beef ban.

In the Directive Principles of State Policy, ban on slaughter of cows and cattle have been provided. But 99% of sensible minds know that these surrogates of the Irish Constitution are only a set of guidelines to be followed.Besides, they are not enforcable in the court of law. Sounds a bit like Preetam’s music.Great to hear but little authenticity!

Well it is equally and significantly true many such principles including RTE have been given due recognition by enacting an act! But the manner in which the opposition has made obstructionism an ideal,that idea is little feasable!

The Marathi Manoos Fadnavis has also ensured that multiplexes show Marathi movies in the primetime. Another gimmick?Well equality sometimes also means giving surplus support to the more vulnerable sections of the society.From that front I do agree with Shreyas Talpade that it will help marathi cinema.But will tomorrow hockey be showed on primetime to protect the sport from cricketoholic aggression? Will MTV show Manna Dey songs at 10 am to give a fitting reply to Honey Singh?

Censorship is a double edged sword.The Chinese were not able to ban opium from entering China.Neither could Gorbachev protect Communism in Russia even after proclaiming Perestroika and Glastnost.India’s Daughter had more views in India than what would have been if the documentary was aired on the BBC.Wearing a tight underwear does not and cannot prevent masturbation…………..

AAP-the bAAP of a Bastard-part 2


The stings have long been interlinked with the natural psychosis of AAP.Well even if Shazia is in her brother’s party now,she was caught in a sting in the pre 2013 Delhi elections.A video also showed her calling on Muslims to be “communal”.Now I am not a conspiracy theorist like RK Dhawan,the personal assistant of Indira Gandhi in the 70’s.Well for newbies,there is more to “Dhawanism” than David,Varun and “Gabbar”!But judging the present circumstance of sabotages in the new bloom, Shazia may well have been a target of a wider conspiracy.Yogendra Yadav tweeted a few days back                                           

“Na todenge na chodenge,

Sudhrenge aur Sudharenge”

(neither will we break nor will we leave,will improve and make improvement). But when in itself the “idea of AAP” which the rebels talk of today takes education from IIN what really can you say! Arvind and Anna could really have been twins.The double standards easily flaunted by the iron man of Ralegan Siddhi and his once charioteer “Sanjay of the great epic” Kejriwal is only matched by “Netaji” of UP. Anna citing health reasons failed to attend Mamata Banerjee’s meeting of a meagre 400 heads.Categorically the old man branded the Bengal CM as a clean leader,invariably a jehadi against corruption.Well, even Madan Mitra may well not be able to digest this goof!

Anna fearlessly declared that no political leaders will be allowed in his manch against Modi Government’s much hyped land bill.Magar dekhiye rajneeti ka rang! Arvind was seen sharing the stage with Anna moments later! Honesty once against lost his father.

Why should Kejriwal be far behind Ussain Bolt? When branded as Aam Aadmi, he prefers to fly economic class!In his interview to Sudhir Chaudhary his notion of being a  common man changes.He says that even a rich man leading an honest life is an Aam Admi.Applying that logic poor people living in ghettos and slums who are forced to pay bribes are criminals? Honesty hounded once more. 

The so called “hope” is seen giving kicks to the rebel duo on the phone.Honesty anyone?The so called propagator of honest politics indulges in poaching MLAs from Congress to join his party authorizing what Subramanian Swamy and Ajay Maken said long back.Honesty? Bouncers being used allegedly against the dissenters.Embarking honesty?

Ashish Khetan,the former journalist who exposed snoopgate today has to defend Kejriwal’s horsetrading. Medha Patkar of the Narmada Bachao Andolan fame and Anjali Damania have quit the party which promised decentralisation of power. The coterie in Delhi will take decisions of its own and will capitalize the future. The stung Arvind today has lost the ground of morality.Today when the self inducted Lokpal is impeached on ambiguous grounds,its sure to proclaim the birth of a Stalinist democracy.Hitler made the German Parliament Reichstag ceremonial. Indra Kumar made the story of Grand Masti titular.Prateik Babbar made acting substanceless.Sonakshi Sinha made the question of Kgs weightless.Arvind bhai,the IITian has made farce of Newton’s third law of motion.There is inside a lot of action,but the reaction is not equal but redundant.Vinod Mehta,the late “Editor of Editors” last year after Arvind resignation marked it as “end of hope”.I will add-end of hope for honesty.A man who discards support of the call girl-Shahi Imam talks vehemently about 3 Muslim MLAs and their prospectus of joining their party.

AAP may perform well in governance without resigning once again. But the moral USP of honesty that the safed topi bragged of stands victimized.Imandari today is a bastard. The Father has lost authority over his son today.Hence AAP today is the baap of a parentless endeavour to clean the filth of the political drain….