Woh pareshaan karte rahein……a tale of Kejri’s never ending talkie

Drama Queen, the song starring Sidharth Malhotra and Parineeti Chopra in the movie Hasee to Phasee was a hit with its catchy lyrics and Vishal-Shekhar music. But there has been a conundrum, in the new Kejriwal drama queenalike. The ad not only rightfully glorifies the AAP convenor as some type of Amitabh Bachchan in “Jadugar”, but also re-emphasises the basket of dreams that the AAP as a party is still living in. Shazia Ilmi, the middle aged pretty face of news television could have continued her innings on television news. But she chose to jump in politics of change that Kejriwal was offering.

But the real drama started to churn out a bit early. The egoism which started to bore fruit has its roots even before the AAP and its idea took shape. NDTV was reporting in early 2012, how Anna may soon form a political party of his own. But soon, the great opportunistic Mahatma that the man of Ralegan Siddhi is, backed off. The “pareshani” that Kejriwal ads talk about today, started that very day, when Swaraj, the book of Kejriwal was launched in front of eminent personalities including Anna Hazare amidst the Ramleela frenzy.

Vinod Mehta, said that seeing the mirage of relation between the old man and his subordinate, on the occasion of release it would take a real miracle to stich the two together. So Hazare, became the first cause of “problem” that Kejriwal ads complain about. The two soon parted ways. In the same manner Kiran Bedi, who stated her accomplice with Anna openly claimed, “Kejriwal has a unique mannerism of overdoing everything.” The two Magsaysay awardees were at necks at the juncture. Bedi, whose BJP empathy was evident became a cause of problem or pareshani again. Shall I mention about the Kejriwal ads once more?

Then came the turn of the media- who, alleges Raj Thackeray painted and conceived the AAP. The media which stood erected behind the newborn, now began to turn the toll of things. The notion of “sab chor hain” very soon applied itself in the gardening of conspiracies and utopian theories Kejriwal and Kejriwal ads are potent at. Arnab became livid at the meritocracy of AAP not to send a single spokesman to his channel! The drama continued. Somnath Bharti who excels allegedly in beating up wives, became the martyr in the eyes of Kejriwal.

Bharti even forced Nigerian woman to what Chatur of Three Idiots calls “Mutravisarjan”. But more than that, if Kejri sacrificed something-it was his usp of commonality. Somnath Bharti’s wagging of fingers could not satisfy the krantikaari intellectuals who vouched for him as a leader-neither a dynast nor an inessential chest thumper. Then, came the promo-spoof to the republic parade, which made the Delhi CM adorned in a muffler, a quarrelsome, self-obsessed caricature and anarchist. The Kejriwal ads for sure will never talk about the “pareshani” the common man had to incur because of his tantrums and self-triumphalism.

The Anil Kapoor last solo hit “Nayak” seemed to have heavily influenced the matter and molecule of Kejriwal’s character. The ‘Parivaartan” which brought the IRS officer to the porridge of activism failed to train him with the idea of extensive realism. The recent theatre of the absurd played out by Arvind, after securing a stout victory only proves the character orbit of the man- limited to confrontation. Delhi police, for God’s sake has never been the inherited treasure of Narendra Modi. So to take barbs at him as per the rules of the continuum only reaffirms the David vs Goliath foetus still beaming in his heart despite the Varanasi blunder.

Ashutosh’s book says that Kejriwal broke down after the Loksabha disaster. The AAP confectionary in Bengal merged into the BJP bakery. “how did this happen?’ Arvind said as tears rolled down his cheeks. Well, I could not but drone myself with this melodramatic overdose. Actually, Shazia Ilmi is somewhat correct to the statement, that the profession of acting suits Arvind as a better vocation. The Kejriwal ads only seem to glorify the man, who many a times have not missed an opportunity to deify himself!

Yogendra Yadav, a socialist liberal who inverted the rightist tilt of the AAP and its “thou affaire” with self-invested belly showing Gurus, had to be heckled (if the pseophologist is to be believed along with the legal eagle Prashant Bhutan) and abused by the vigilante justice system demanded so often by the AAP conglomerate. Now, as the noose widens around the electorate of Delhi, the Kejriwal ads say,

“Woh pareshan karte rahein, Hum Kaam karte rahein…”

The mockery which started with the earlier Kejriwal ads hopefully (though I am sure it hasn’t) has called for a close. Most of the achievements ironically in the chest thumping process are mere assumptions, yet to be started. Again to bring in a filmy corollary, it looks like just how the name and available diction of the upcoming movies become the centre of discussion in the public platforms, the Delhi CM also expects his still to be started work to make a buzz and sound. An opposition leader rightfully remarked, “He can make news out of nothing.’

If the history of masala-ised talkies which AAP is so adept in producing, directing and acting are anything to go by, Kejriwal is not embarrassing his DNA. He is also not trying to be in the news. Because, his is a party with a difference- a metamorphosis between a normal human brain and a human brain with abnormal features. So stick to the sits. Pop corns chalega kya?


AAP-the bAAP of a Bastard-part 2


The stings have long been interlinked with the natural psychosis of AAP.Well even if Shazia is in her brother’s party now,she was caught in a sting in the pre 2013 Delhi elections.A video also showed her calling on Muslims to be “communal”.Now I am not a conspiracy theorist like RK Dhawan,the personal assistant of Indira Gandhi in the 70’s.Well for newbies,there is more to “Dhawanism” than David,Varun and “Gabbar”!But judging the present circumstance of sabotages in the new bloom, Shazia may well have been a target of a wider conspiracy.Yogendra Yadav tweeted a few days back                                           

“Na todenge na chodenge,

Sudhrenge aur Sudharenge”

(neither will we break nor will we leave,will improve and make improvement). But when in itself the “idea of AAP” which the rebels talk of today takes education from IIN what really can you say! Arvind and Anna could really have been twins.The double standards easily flaunted by the iron man of Ralegan Siddhi and his once charioteer “Sanjay of the great epic” Kejriwal is only matched by “Netaji” of UP. Anna citing health reasons failed to attend Mamata Banerjee’s meeting of a meagre 400 heads.Categorically the old man branded the Bengal CM as a clean leader,invariably a jehadi against corruption.Well, even Madan Mitra may well not be able to digest this goof!

Anna fearlessly declared that no political leaders will be allowed in his manch against Modi Government’s much hyped land bill.Magar dekhiye rajneeti ka rang! Arvind was seen sharing the stage with Anna moments later! Honesty once against lost his father.

Why should Kejriwal be far behind Ussain Bolt? When branded as Aam Aadmi, he prefers to fly economic class!In his interview to Sudhir Chaudhary his notion of being a  common man changes.He says that even a rich man leading an honest life is an Aam Admi.Applying that logic poor people living in ghettos and slums who are forced to pay bribes are criminals? Honesty hounded once more. 

The so called “hope” is seen giving kicks to the rebel duo on the phone.Honesty anyone?The so called propagator of honest politics indulges in poaching MLAs from Congress to join his party authorizing what Subramanian Swamy and Ajay Maken said long back.Honesty? Bouncers being used allegedly against the dissenters.Embarking honesty?

Ashish Khetan,the former journalist who exposed snoopgate today has to defend Kejriwal’s horsetrading. Medha Patkar of the Narmada Bachao Andolan fame and Anjali Damania have quit the party which promised decentralisation of power. The coterie in Delhi will take decisions of its own and will capitalize the future. The stung Arvind today has lost the ground of morality.Today when the self inducted Lokpal is impeached on ambiguous grounds,its sure to proclaim the birth of a Stalinist democracy.Hitler made the German Parliament Reichstag ceremonial. Indra Kumar made the story of Grand Masti titular.Prateik Babbar made acting substanceless.Sonakshi Sinha made the question of Kgs weightless.Arvind bhai,the IITian has made farce of Newton’s third law of motion.There is inside a lot of action,but the reaction is not equal but redundant.Vinod Mehta,the late “Editor of Editors” last year after Arvind resignation marked it as “end of hope”.I will add-end of hope for honesty.A man who discards support of the call girl-Shahi Imam talks vehemently about 3 Muslim MLAs and their prospectus of joining their party.

AAP may perform well in governance without resigning once again. But the moral USP of honesty that the safed topi bragged of stands victimized.Imandari today is a bastard. The Father has lost authority over his son today.Hence AAP today is the baap of a parentless endeavour to clean the filth of the political drain….

AAP-the bAAP of a bastard……..

When Arvind Kejriwal started to run riot on the issue of corruption, many had their eyes on the existing system of obstructionism-a paraaffin of redtapism and officiousness which bhrastachaar offers.2011 was a year of the modern day “Gandhi”-a short built man who shares Rajnikanth’s native name-Anna Hazare.Well really am a bit whimsical of the notion how all “Mahatmas” seem to flaunt very less hair on their body -to be more specific on their heads.In any case my hobby is not to judge density of hair on the chaati of Anil Kapoor or Narendra Modi.However not digracing from the issue further Anna in many case did accomplish the mission he set out to achieve.A party battling the absence of the Matriarch(reportedly in the US taking treatment of cancer) found itself in an uncomfortable honeymoon with a team lead by a 70+ husband.However as recent reports suggest Anna Hazare was only a face of the greater coterie clad strategists.An RTI activist popularly called mufflerman in the social paradise articulated each and every step of the larger socialist confrontation.Incidentally the movement embarked the arrival of social media in the inner dynamics of a complex nation.

The Chanakya of Indian politics in any way was having a tough time dealing with the country’s sliding economy.Just like the arrival of your wife when you are sleeping with your girlfriend, the absence of Sonia exerted surplus dependence on the shoulders of an ageing Pranab.The time was ripe for a mass resurgence as Arnab Goswami acted as a perfect stimulator.A kurta clad Gandhite sat on a safed manch with the image of Bapu only reinstating the composure of “persistence in truth” what we call Satyagraha.But someone from behind was sowing the seeds of electoral confrontation. The AAP was born with a mission of change and swaraj not arvindraj for sure.It seemed that at last honesty had found a father of his own.

As December 2013 approached most pollsters predicted a debut of substance for the AAP.The trend was right but the intensity was wrong. AAP came second to the BJP with a handsome 28 sits and eventually formed  government taking the support of a party whose Delhi CM was the main object of ridicule in Kejri’s campaign.The AAP enacted a referendum whose authenticity according to me is as baseless as Abbas-Mustan’s movies.The 49 day stint did elevate hope with every move of the Government scrutinised by the Lutyens Media.But then #bhagodabhai resigned.The nation became speechless.

Honesty it seemed again became an orphan.The Modi juggernaut crashed the party of hopes. According to the book of key Kejriwal leutenant,Ashutosh Kejriwal broke down and wanted to quit politics.Soon the role of Prashant Bhushan and Yogendra Yadav,both adored figures in their own fields subsided sceptically becoming the scapegoats of what should be a “collective” failure.The seeds of authoratarianism was sowed in the smokescreen of power.

But Arvind did now what nobody had “unexpected”. Come to the basics. It is true in every field whether you are not getting an erection or if you are not taking wickets as a spearhead spinner.He alleged horsetrading against the BJP and as usual had a paper in his hand (not toilet paper) along with a series of sting operations.Shazia Ilmi says that his political alma mater has an obscession about stings.Well technlogically advanced I must say!