Lolita, ask ‘her’ to leave today


See I want to permanently return to Kolkata after 2 years. And if Didi is still the Chief Minister, I shudder to believe what will be the consequences. Bengalis are known to lateback, their dna is full of indolence but brains morphed with politics.

The intellectual class mostly believes she is unbearable. True she is. Though I necessarily never subscribe to the propaganda of the ABP- Mamata has creates her own pitfalls. 

Bengalis have a rich past, a rich present and a hopefully a bright future. But what if talented Bengalis help a Maharashtra or a Karnataka increase its GDP as their home state lie high and dry?

In a recent interview in an election rally in Kolkata, she was being quizzed by the NDTV triumvirate- Shekhar Gupta, Dorab Sopariwala and the Probashi thespian Prannoy Roy. There was no connect between the questions thrown and the answers given.

The situation appears morbidly grim as most political commentators are clueless about the choice of the voters this time around. There is no clear cut picture which has led Mamata lose her senses altogether.

A Chief Minister must at least show grace even if she fails to qualify as a bhadromohila by middle class standards. A question was asked about the prospects of the BJP in these elections. But she in return talked about the ‘nuisance'(a word she is in love with it seems as she repeated it half a dozen times) of the Election Commission and the BJP government at the centre.

She has always been whimsical- a reason why the educated middle class never took her seriously. A polemical view of her administrative skills while she was the Railways minister today has fallen flat on the face. Mention I must, the facade of her great administrative skills was a manufactured product of the media only.

Jobs cannot be created by the brethrens of extortionists, by the partners of those who believe in the departmentalazation of bribery- from the Chokdas to the top notch ministers.

She dreamt of making Kolkata, an alter ego of London. What in return she has given the city is the worst example of colonial slavery. A highly discernible copy of Big Ben stands near New Town. Madame Tussauds has opened its office in the city only to reincarnate the Chief Minister’s idol.

The Left-Congress will go down in history as an awkward pair who tried to re-establish what vulnerability and fear can do to political parties. But who knows this is the best chance Bengal has in its path of revival.

Bengal must own up the model thrown by South Indian states where anti incumbency becomes so extreme every 5 years that a poriborton seems imminent.

The myth that a government with a huge mandate can guarantee political stability has not stood the test of time. The Left till 2011 had quite a comfortable majority. But the 3.5 decades of left rule saw infinite political deaths which cannot be chroniclised factually.

Who knows perhaps, a government with a slender majority, with a tight noose will face the greater pressure to deliver. As Kerala according to many has achieved stupendous success under Chandy, because the Congress was just past the halfway mark in the Legislative Assembly.

Till then lets hope, the new government can arrest this brain drain- otherwise the student speacials to Pune or Hyderabad or Bengaluru will not stop.  

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The Secret Diary of A CongRed


30/4/16-8:30 pm

Inqalaab Zindabaad! Was hearing Majrooh Sultanpuri. Zara hatke, Zara Baachke, yeh hain Bombay meri jaan. Ki bhalo ki bhalo. Marx thakle nije eshe dialectics poraten Majrooh ke. Pardon my Hindi. Though it is a bit better than the condition of my party.

I am a Communist and I am an opportunist. But why should I care? Is there any party in this country which can flaunt its ideology? The BJP is communal, the RJD, JD(U), SP and BSP are casteist,the Congress is a dynast.Then why should I care about ideology at all?

Yes we, always cried foul over the 1972 rigged elections. And privately may I add, according to many the only reason why we survived for 34 years was because we always reminded people of those 5 years between 1972-77. Incidentally the party which perpetrated us today are our alliance partners. No no, sorry not alliance but as Biman da said ‘tactical seat adjustment’. Though Biman da nowadays doesn’t have too many takers within and without the party.

And I must also quip that we have cut the fists of the Congress voters in 1990s. But did someone not say that everything is fair in love and war? We are socialists. And yes they were voting against us. So what should we have done? Teach them surplus value and the theory of state?

Now the situation is different. Things have changed. Earlier one call from me was sufficient to show the police its aukaat. But now. Dukkhor kotha kake boli. Who will listen to my sad tales! The same police squelches me by my jamar Collar! Imprudence!!

And we can’t win elections on our own stength. Anubrato is so dangerous! He threatens us everyday. He has taken my place. At one time, I used to exercise the same clout. But now? Only burnol for me. 

That is why we have tied our roots with the party of jotdar-zomidars, the party of landlords. Yes we will return to power. And follow Selim da’s advice of vengeance .For five years, my business of extortion has been usurped by Didi. How can I allow that?

I never had to work for 34 years to earn my bread and butter except during the elections. As a Communist, I should have be an atheist. But it was only by carrying on the legacy of multiple pujas in my locality, some real, some not so that I was able to buy my wife jewellery from Senco Gold’s Dhanteras Dhanvarsha. 

God knows, when will my party’s Great Easter come. Hopefully on the 19th. BTW, our General Secretary from Andhra,( “the name evades me..age catching up fast..) some “chury” also visited some Dargah. So we give zero ‘Marks’ to Marx for his opium of the masses.

And many people are taunting our alliance. Keno bolun to? We can have Dev as an actor, Atlaf Raja as a singer, A mass murderer as PM, but not Congress as our flirt?

That is why listen to my puditry. What if we have sacrificed ideology, given up ethics, have no alternative vision except sitting on Television with our chubby faces? 

We are the neo-communists, we will restore ‘democrazy’, and if time permits us also discuss about the viability of globalisation and the American conspiracy to undo our efforts! Markin samrajyobaad bole kotha!

Ebar jai. Aveek Sarkar called. Was convincing me to allow him to get hold of the land, which the TMC ruled KMC took away ‘forcefully’. Bhagyish hoyechilo eta. I am so glad it happened. Otherwise, we would not have got the silver spoon born capitalist as the chairman of the Congress-Left alliance. But I must warn Surjyo da. 

ABP changes its colour faster than a chameleon. Who knows, they may turn against us completely 2 years from now? Gache tule moi kere neoa- Taking away the ladder after helping someone get on the tree is something the ABP is a master at.

Vigilance required. We must not forget that they hyped up Mamata by over emphasizing on the good effects of each and every unfinished metro project when she was the country’s most useless railways minister. 

Sometimes even my ideal fed heart starts to churn. But suppress I must. Karon Khmotor jonno rajniti, rajnitir jonno khomota noy. 

Inqilab Zindabad!                                Bande Maataram!