The Secret Diary of A CongRed


30/4/16-8:30 pm

Inqalaab Zindabaad! Was hearing Majrooh Sultanpuri. Zara hatke, Zara Baachke, yeh hain Bombay meri jaan. Ki bhalo ki bhalo. Marx thakle nije eshe dialectics poraten Majrooh ke. Pardon my Hindi. Though it is a bit better than the condition of my party.

I am a Communist and I am an opportunist. But why should I care? Is there any party in this country which can flaunt its ideology? The BJP is communal, the RJD, JD(U), SP and BSP are casteist,the Congress is a dynast.Then why should I care about ideology at all?

Yes we, always cried foul over the 1972 rigged elections. And privately may I add, according to many the only reason why we survived for 34 years was because we always reminded people of those 5 years between 1972-77. Incidentally the party which perpetrated us today are our alliance partners. No no, sorry not alliance but as Biman da said ‘tactical seat adjustment’. Though Biman da nowadays doesn’t have too many takers within and without the party.

And I must also quip that we have cut the fists of the Congress voters in 1990s. But did someone not say that everything is fair in love and war? We are socialists. And yes they were voting against us. So what should we have done? Teach them surplus value and the theory of state?

Now the situation is different. Things have changed. Earlier one call from me was sufficient to show the police its aukaat. But now. Dukkhor kotha kake boli. Who will listen to my sad tales! The same police squelches me by my jamar Collar! Imprudence!!

And we can’t win elections on our own stength. Anubrato is so dangerous! He threatens us everyday. He has taken my place. At one time, I used to exercise the same clout. But now? Only burnol for me. 

That is why we have tied our roots with the party of jotdar-zomidars, the party of landlords. Yes we will return to power. And follow Selim da’s advice of vengeance .For five years, my business of extortion has been usurped by Didi. How can I allow that?

I never had to work for 34 years to earn my bread and butter except during the elections. As a Communist, I should have be an atheist. But it was only by carrying on the legacy of multiple pujas in my locality, some real, some not so that I was able to buy my wife jewellery from Senco Gold’s Dhanteras Dhanvarsha. 

God knows, when will my party’s Great Easter come. Hopefully on the 19th. BTW, our General Secretary from Andhra,( “the name evades me..age catching up fast..) some “chury” also visited some Dargah. So we give zero ‘Marks’ to Marx for his opium of the masses.

And many people are taunting our alliance. Keno bolun to? We can have Dev as an actor, Atlaf Raja as a singer, A mass murderer as PM, but not Congress as our flirt?

That is why listen to my puditry. What if we have sacrificed ideology, given up ethics, have no alternative vision except sitting on Television with our chubby faces? 

We are the neo-communists, we will restore ‘democrazy’, and if time permits us also discuss about the viability of globalisation and the American conspiracy to undo our efforts! Markin samrajyobaad bole kotha!

Ebar jai. Aveek Sarkar called. Was convincing me to allow him to get hold of the land, which the TMC ruled KMC took away ‘forcefully’. Bhagyish hoyechilo eta. I am so glad it happened. Otherwise, we would not have got the silver spoon born capitalist as the chairman of the Congress-Left alliance. But I must warn Surjyo da. 

ABP changes its colour faster than a chameleon. Who knows, they may turn against us completely 2 years from now? Gache tule moi kere neoa- Taking away the ladder after helping someone get on the tree is something the ABP is a master at.

Vigilance required. We must not forget that they hyped up Mamata by over emphasizing on the good effects of each and every unfinished metro project when she was the country’s most useless railways minister. 

Sometimes even my ideal fed heart starts to churn. But suppress I must. Karon Khmotor jonno rajniti, rajnitir jonno khomota noy. 

Inqilab Zindabad!                                Bande Maataram!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s