An open letter to Kanhaiya Kumar


आदरनीय Kanhaiyaji,

I hope you are all wrong, because you basically hate the ‘right’. Many people including me will today feel relieved by your ‘betrayal’. Not because Vibhishan and Mir Jafar happen to be our ancestors, but because in modern days you just have too many intellectual insomniacs striving to seer the air of myopic popularity. 

E.g?-those ‘Hindustan loving’, Pakistani and Bangladeshi destitutes whose sole bread and butter depends on Muslim bashing.

You are notorious enough to show your private parts in public. Fare enough. Your ideological lackeys in any way are fully naked. But what actually has happened to you, that you are exposing your ‘superficiality’ so soon?

You did not campaign in my state on behalf of the unholy triumvirate of the CPM- Congress-ABP. I was saddened. I hoped I am going to experience the modern day JP(not the cement, but the immortal ‘apolitical’ socialist)- someone who could actually ramshackle the power centre in Delhi and forced a self diminutive semi-idiotic government to spend all its energy only dealing with a P.H.D scholar whose height barely touches the waist of Barkha Dutt.

You look rustic, you look honest, you show both grace and dignity, but nothing you actually are except a heavily medicated maniac trying to find conspiracies in every marrow of existence. Let me give you some unsolicited advice. Never run behind the looks of an individual. You will end up appreciating Bobby Deol’s acting!

You talked about independence from Manuvaad, from the orthodoxies of the heavily blinded culture of India. But you should be thankful to this blindness, because of which people like you become heroes, even when your only credibility is based on juxtaposition of facts and falsification of evidence.

Of course, you have a point in many of your arguments. I support them whole-heartedly. But unfortunate as it may sound, you only seem to parrot the same lines of ethics and morality, the country has been tired listening to. One ‘great leader’ who opposed the Emergency and was incarcerated as a result went on to become the PM with the help of the empress of the Emergency. 

The attack on you near Patiala High Court cannot be condoned, but your Kejriwalism cannot be encouraged either.

You almost got strangulated in a flight. Wrong. You are being subjected to social media ridicule. Wrong. But what is one ‘right’ example you have set? You talk about equality.But when you almost look and behave like a three time CM passing sermons on social media via an IOS device, you ‘look’ more like a Shashi Tharoor out of the Jaipur Lit fest.

Now you can question me. I said earlier, look doesn’t matter. Then how does it matter whether you are looking like Shashi Tharoor or Ishan Tharoor? Well, your Patron talked about dialectical materialism- constituted by a thesis and an anti-thesis.

I am not saying a Communist cannot fly an aeroplane or carry an iphone. Even I carry one. And I am not as wealthy as a communist.

But politically, your connect is not better than an exhausted Wi-Fi pack which takes 1 hour to load a 20 kb photo. Your makeover as a neo communist is not going to be as easy as the incarnation of Kejriwal as the muffler man. 

So take a chill pill and enjoy the upcoming Parliament session. Someone told me Rahul Gandhi is going to speak.

Yours truly,

A beef loving Indian…..

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